On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize