watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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