just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
