Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize