he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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