Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
