glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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