Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
