I will die if light touches me.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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