They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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