we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
