I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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