Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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