Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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