I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Semen is not good for contacts.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
