what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
