I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
