i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
