I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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