Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my liver is dry heaving
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
