What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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