ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Enjoy the penises
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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