Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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