hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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