Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
