he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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