I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
