Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
