some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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