Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
