i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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