i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
