I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
