I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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