she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
