Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i think i just lost a toe
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
