I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual