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• (281): View more from Texas

  Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird

  (269): View more from Michigan

  OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

  (212): View more from New York

  Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....

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