Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.