Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
