see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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