I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
