Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
