Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
