Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize