i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize