I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
