Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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