After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
