Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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