I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
