if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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