I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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