I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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