Sry I called you an 8
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize