just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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