somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
