You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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