During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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