she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
