I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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