also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
