You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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