That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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