So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
